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Vanessa Wang

Rhino candidate for Calgary Nose Hill
Just because another person does not look like you, think like you, or have the same abilities as you, does not mean they should be treated as less than or have opportunities taken away. We are all human and we all deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.

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Affordability & Childcare

Banking

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhinoceros Party will demand that banks give free money to any Canadian who asks politely. We will also replace the national currency with bubblegum so it can be inflated and deflated at will.

Cell & Internet Bills

Vanessa Wang's promise

A vaccine that will cause you to give off your own 5G signal is in the works! Never pay for cellular data or internet again!

Childcare

Vanessa Wang's promise

Unattended children will be given a Red Bull and a kazoo. I will think of something better when childcare workers get paid more for how much they actually work and train.

Food & Nutrition

Vanessa Wang's promise

I will make sure that all pizza has pineapples.

GST

Vanessa Wang's promise

Canadians tired of paying GST will be happy to hear about the Rhinoceros Party's plan to generate government revenue. We will tax the black market!

Guaranteed Livable Income

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhinoceros Party will eliminate poverty by lowering the poverty line to an annual income of $100. Everyone will get a crisp $100 bill on January 1 to start off the year!

Living in the North

Vanessa Wang's promise

Any Canadian living north of the 60th parallel will be given a lifetime supply of hot chocolate and a pet polar bear.

People with Disabilities

Vanessa Wang's promise

Under the Rhinoceros Party, disability accommodations will be the social norm and not the exception. July 2 will become National Accessibility Day.

Climate Change & the Environment

Animal Protection

Vanessa Wang's promise

As rhinos are chubby unicorns, the Rhinoceros Party will add the unicorn onto the list of endangered species. Pegasus and alicorn cousins are welcome too.

Effects of Climate Change

Vanessa Wang's promise

Unlike *certain* parties, the Rhinoceros Party will not lie to you about climate change. Climate change is real! 97% of scientists agree! Scientists predict that in the next 20 years, global warming will threaten the existence of human beings. We can do better! A Rhinoceros Government promises to make it happen in 10 years!

Emissions Reductions Targets

Vanessa Wang's promise

To reduce the amount of methane going into our atmosphere, we will tell our bovine brethren to fart less.

Green Innovation

Vanessa Wang's promise

Green cars are not available in sufficient numbers in Canada. This is why a Rhinoceros Government will force car manufacturers to build more green cars: forest green, pale green, khaki green and neon green.

Gravity

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhinoceros Party will abolish the law of gravity. We as Canadians never voted it in. I have been personally harmed by gravity as a physicist and so have many others. This unjust law must end!

Education

Post-Secondary Tuition

Vanessa Wang's promise

Not only will the Rhinoceros Party build taller schools to promote higher education, tuition will be free and paid for by the national maple syrup reserve. Student loan debt will also be eliminated.

Public School Educators

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhinoceros Party will replace teachers on leave with photos of famous scientists.

Health & Healthcare

COVID Testing

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhinoceros Party will distribute free study guides to ensure all Canadians pass their COVID tests. Also available are study guides to ensure all Canadians get an A+ on their blood test.

Contraception

Vanessa Wang's promise

Contraception such as condoms, pills, rings, patches, spermicide, and Plan B will be freely available at vending machines across the country. Scan the QR code on the package for instructions. To promote fairness, varieties of contraception currently available only for AFAB people will have new varieties for AMAB people too. Permanent sterilization will be made hurdle-free for enthusiastic volunteers.

Health Funding

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhino Party will fund scientific research on eternal life.

Healthcare Access

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhino Party will ensure everyone has access to healthcare by issuing everyone a personal doctor. This will alleviate the stress on the healthcare system and allow doctors 24/7 monitoring of their patients.

Menstrual Products

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhinoceros Party will make menstrual products free! For added convenience, they will also be delivered for free upon request.

Natural Health Products

Vanessa Wang's promise

No. You stop that. You know what's natural? Cyanide. Arsenic. Bears. All very bad for you. It's even possible to have too much oxygen or too much water! You know what we call alternative medicine that works? Medicine. You know what people did before modern medicine? They died.

Housing & Homelessness

Homelessness

Vanessa Wang's promise

If you ever find yourself without a home, the Rhinoceros Party will provide you with a free bouncy castle. You can even keep the box for your cat!

Housing Supply

Vanessa Wang's promise

Every year, we will take all the existing accommodations in Canada and distribute them using a lottery system to all residents. Who knows, you could get a new mansion! Or you get a cardboard box. Oh well. Better luck next year.

Money Laundering

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhinoceros Party will install at least five washing machines at the Canadian Mint so that all money going into Canadians' hands are squeaky clean.

Human Rights & Equality

LGBTQ2 Rights & Opportunities

Vanessa Wang's promise

The rights and opportunities of the LGBTQ+ community should be the same as those who are not. I promise you won't catch the gay from existing in the same society.

Trans Health & Access

Vanessa Wang's promise

You are not the bathroom police. I promise you trans people need to excavate their bowels and empty their bladders just like everyone else.

Infrastructure

Infrastructure Funding

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhinoceros Party will fund a cross-country pipeline that distributes bubble tea rapidly to all provinces and territories.

Jobs & the Economy

News Media & Journalism

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhino Party will bribe the Weather Network presenters to announce only sun on Sundays, and less snow in the winter. We will also stop the current slew of fake news that does not show a Rhino candidate ranking first in their riding's polls!

Tax Evasion

Vanessa Wang's promise

You can't run away from your taxes if they run to you! From now on, CRA agents will be given additional training as Olympic sprinters to catch anyone trying to avoid their taxes.

Worker Safety

Vanessa Wang's promise

We will reduce the number of accidents in factories by wrapping all workers in bubble wrap.

Public Safety & Policing

National Security

Vanessa Wang's promise

We will implement moose calvary to defend our great nation. We are also exploring the use of rhino calvary.

Seniors & Senior Care

Long-Term Care

Vanessa Wang's promise

We believe you should be able to choose how you spend your golden years, whether that be in a cryogenic chamber or in your own home.

Misc. topics

Canadian Heritage

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhinoceros Party will make “Sorry” the new official motto of Canada.

IVF & Surrogacy

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhinoceros Party will not endorse people spending ludicrous amounts of money to have a "mini me". Children are not miniature versions of yourself; they are not property, nor are they something to project your unfulfilled dreams onto. If you cannot accept that your children may develop their own opinions, preferences, and interests, please reconsider having children. And please consider giving a home to an existing child instead of creating a new one.

National Holidays

Vanessa Wang's promise

The Rhinoceros Party will introduce two new holidays: April Fools Day and Retail Purge Day. On April 1, Canadians will be given the day off from work to make their friends laugh with funny jokes and good-hearted pranks. Those who succeed will be given a cookie! Stores will individually decide one day of the year to celebrate Retail Purge Day, when employees can yell at annoying customers with no repercussions.

Biography

submitted by the candidate or their team
Vanessa is a Natural Sciences graduate from the University of Calgary with a love of bad puns. In her work as a science educator and lab technician, Vanessa recognized that y'all need science. So she took the humourous approach to get her message across.

After all, RHI-not?

Vanessa graduated from the University of Calgary in 2018 with a Bachelor of Science with Distinction in Natural Sciences. In the years since, she has been trying to move on from the broke student life by enriching the minds of our next generation as a science educator. She was one of the childcare workers tirelessly entertaining your children through the pandemic. Recently she decided to put her science degree to good use by becoming a lab technician. She also decided her life needed a little more spice so...here we are.

As a scientist who discovered that the degree did in fact NOT come with an ivory tower, Vanessa is constantly reminded that pseudoscience and anti-science beliefs only grow louder in their echo chambers, especially on social media. She will crush this nonsense with herds of rhinos. Once she finds enough rhinos. She will also use the rhino stampede to flatten the Rocky Mountains to finally give Alberta a beautiful view of the Pacific sunset.

Since graduating university, Vanessa has a lot of this thing called "spare time". She uses it by making soap, fattening her roommates with cake, and playing Terraria and DragonFable. Oh, and running for office. That too. Support her in this crazy adventure by using the tag #yycwanggang. She can be reached on Instagram and Reddit by the username nosehillrhino.

Reason for running

submitted by the candidate or their team
Vanessa noticed that there were *no* Rhinoceros Party candidates in Calgary a week after the election was called, so she decided to become the change she wanted to see. She also did it for the memes.

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